We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
