so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
