All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
How external is "for external use only"?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
