Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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