Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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