If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
