Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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