don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
