morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Randomize
