What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
