I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize