Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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