somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
So apparently I’m into choking now
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
