I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
