The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
