did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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