mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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