I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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