So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
