This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
