Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
