i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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