I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
