Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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