Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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