Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
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