He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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