i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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