I wanna passion pit in your ass
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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