I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Girls should come with a carfax report
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
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