You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
