3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
