Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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