I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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