fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
