The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Ladies don't puke and tell
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
