Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
