Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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