I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
