i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
