Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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