At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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