Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
