3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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