I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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