We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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