I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Randomize
