you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
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