kristin has been a bad kristin
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
