smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
