brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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